


Love

by jhsdhalr



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 14:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1006487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhsdhalr/pseuds/jhsdhalr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack's thoughts about Ianto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love

Love. He didn't want it. He didn't need it. It caused endless complications in his life. He had fought against it for years-----endless years. Immortality had some rewards but love wasn't part of the equation. He couldn't endure the pain of loss. The pain of knowing that the one you love will fade and die and you will remain----to be alone again as before.

This time it crept up on him. It was just sex, he kept telling himself. He wanted sex. He needed sex and Ianto was there and willing. Ianto. Always ready with a smile and a cup of steaming hot coffee. Always there in the background, working. Making sure things were in order. Ensuring he didn't go out with egg on his collar. Ianto. So intelligent that he understood everything without words.

Ianto's body. Smooth and hot and beautiful and young. The smell of him. The taste of him. The feel of him. The sight of him lying naked on a bed----bending over a desk---lying on a sofa. Ianto. His voice. His Welsh vowels. His hands. It wasn't love. It was lust. It was convenient. It was wonderful.

Love was agony. It was distracting. It was frightening. He knew love. He knew its waiting terrors. It wasn't going to be that way with Ianto. He would have a fantastic affair based on mutual lust. They would each take from the other what they wanted. Ianto would use him. He would use Ianto. It was simple. Only it wasn't. It wasn't simple and it soon stopped being just lust.

Why had things changed? He thought and thought and tried to deny his feelings. It wasn't love. It was just that they were close and saw each other everyday and used each others bodies when they needed to. IT WASN'T LOVE. Only he knew it was. He knew exactly when it had happened too. He knew in the depth of his being when it had happened.

They had spent hours in Ianto's bed. He was tired and hot and sweaty and had cum drying on his chest. He had gotten out of the bed and had gone and taken a shower. He had come back into the bedroom naked, rubbing his hair with a towel. Ianto had fallen asleep on his stomach with his head turned to one side. He stood in the doorway drying his hair and watching Ianto sleep. Then it happened. Just then. A thunderbolt hit him and everything changed.

He watched Ianto sleeping. Watched him breathing. Stared at his body, naked and relaxed and quiet. Ianto was beautiful. His body was perfect. The curtains were open a crack and a gleam of sunlight illuminated Ianto's buttocks and legs. He was transfixed. This was his. Only a short while before they had been one. Ianto was his. Love brings responsibility. He was Ianto's and Ianto was his.

He moved forward and climbed on the bed. He straddled Ianto's body and bent and kissed the curve of his back. Ianto stirred and moved and smiled at him. That smile that suddenly could melt his cold heart. "I love you" he said. "I love you too" Ianto answered. That was the moment when his life changed. He knew it would end. He knew. He would live and Ianto would fade and die and nothing was going to alter that.

Love. He didn't want it. He didn't need it. It caused endless complications in his life. But it was always there and after all it seemed he couldn't live without it. Despite everything he was still Human and that made him glad.


End file.
